Lets just get right down to it. Baseball is for fags, losers, and non-athletes. Here’s why:
10. Women can play it. By very definition this disqualifies it from being a sport.
9. Morbid obesity is neither frowned upon nor is it a detriment to baseball performance.
8. Its played with pants on and a chew in. This isnt gay but it is fucking silly so its making the list.
7. The coach wears the same dumbass uniform that the players do.
6. Getting on a base 45% of the time is considered great though its worth no points. Only a guy willing to settle on boning another guy would be okay with failure being grounds for making the all star team.
5. There are only three possible highlights of baseball. Fat guy hits it over an arbitrarily placed fence of varying depth (based on no standardized rule). Fat guy hits it… Puerto Rican catches it, or fat guy hits it and stereotypical flat billed goatee’d dickface drops it. Thats it.
4. There are 2,430 games in the MLB regular season. Assuming 3 scores total in each game and and an active roster of 25 people per team that works out to an astounding 182,250 congratulatory post score pats on the ass per season.
3. The overtly complicated hand signals. Seriously? Don’t act like there are plays in baseball. You hit the ball and you jog to the next base. And even if you did have set plays. Do you really need thirty hand signals that involve grabbing your dick, scratching your ass, and wiping your nose? You might as well just say, “Hey guy with the bat, run that play where you hit the ball far and we get a point.”
2. Its considered exciting when a game ends with a team never getting on base. You’d have to be completely fucked in the head to like watching a game where one team blew so hard. Which coincident would have it, is a pre-req for being a faggot.
1. Alex Rodriguez