Bikers are Assholes

Nothing screams cocksucker louder than a middle aged leather bound asshole flying by on a hog. Write that down, its a fact. If you don’t believe me just google harley bikers and you’ll literally see a pic of a dude blowing another dude. It ruined my whole day even quicker than this black chick will invert your boner

Hold on playa

or this fat ass will make you giggle.

Give me a fucking break

The point here is that I don’t like bikers at all. I dont like the noise they create, the god forsaken women they haul around, their lackadaisical breaking of every possible traffic law, their general incestuous appearance, or their absurd tattoos.

The Swayzetaur

The only conceivable character flaw more preposterous than biking is the visible red flag of failure you know as obesity. Nothing says early adult onset diabetes quite like, “yes as a matter of fact I will super-size my bag of burgers combo”. But that colloquy will have to wait for a later date. The task at hand is to dissuade any would-be motorcyclist out of the downward spiral  that starts with hog riding and mud trucking and ends with man dancing and dude goofing. Honestly, when is the last time anyone on the planet saw an acceptable woman riding with a leather-laden assbag on a harley. Never, because it hasn’t happened. To summarize if you’re thinking about being a biker then stop. If you’re already a biker then hold your breath indefinitely.

And for the Je ne sais quoi, I leave you today with a colossal combination of rotundity and silliness. Excellent vehicle selection ma’am.

Protect your Jack Link's beef jerky my friends, Sasquatch has gone mobile!


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